it's funny...
when I used to picture my future
you were there
starring in every scene
you were always the hero of my dreams
its funny because it took me
this long to realize
how fucked that was
you aren't the center of my world
you aren't the hero of this story
without you, I used to think
I had no future
now looking ahead I see
late night that I
stay our laughing
and running across finish lines
and being recognized
and loved
and worthy
and everything I admire about the strong
and I am happy
and it's not because of you
and I'm following dreams that never belonged to you
and I'm my own hero

and that's the best feeling

even if I don't end up with him

it was beautiful believing I was worth more for the first time in a year

get yourself friends that remind you of good on your bad days

get yourself friends that remind you of bad when you regret good things

I wish sometimes I could write down the compliments
the praise, the joyous words -
I can't swallow them in front of you -
but I'll keep them for late, alone in my room.
Reading then over and over
until I believe I'm enough
to accept them