Kintsugi

Kintsugi is the Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with lacquer resin dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. Philosophically, speaking to breakage and repair becoming part of the history of an object, rather something to disguise.

To repair with gold.

I think that Kintsugi is something undoubtedly inspired by God. Created for us to see how He deals with our brokenness.

As a Christian, neither you or I is promised a free pass from brokenness in our lives.
I've been there. I've lost people I love to the world and further. I'm losing them now in sickness and in schemes from the prince of this earth. I've lost myself. I've thought I lost God. I've lost love, broken engagements, lost dear dear friends due to my selfish actions. Lost my mind. Tried to lose my life. Broken my own heart. Allowed it to be broken again and again. Given away all that was dear to me.

I've literally laid myself down on a tile floor sobbing because I was so, so utterly lost and alone and broken.

An expert on kintsugi said, "Not only is there no attempt to hide the damage, but the repair is literally illuminated..."

How often I see that in my own life.

How beautifully I see that looking back on those things that once had me so broken.

How fondly I look back on that day, on that tile floor, when I looked up and begged God to fix it. Send me something that wouldn't break me like everything else in my life had.

And he didn't.

Instead, in that moment (and those following) He sent me one of my best friends and sisters in Christ. A woman who has such a heart after God, and for others that it amazes me sometimes. Who constantly and consistently encourages me to love God, to love people, and to write. Who has sat with me as I poured my heart out at noon, midnight, and 3am. And who has loved me not only despite every mistake, but because of every mistake. Who sees my beauty in my brokenness. A piece of my kintsugi.

He has since sent to me a friend who I was able to share part of my story with. Who looked at life not believing there even could be a god. Who looked at my brokenness and how beautiful HE made me, and was given a glimmer of hope that He is real. And He's alive and He's doing great and unimaginable things with the least of these in the world. A piece of my kintsugi.

He has given me grace to forgive people who have contributed greatly to my brokenness, who discouraged me, who led me down paths I pray no one else will ever have to set foot on. He has given me strength to love them and tell them about Jesus, and why I don't hang out on Saturday nights anymore. A piece of my kintsugi.

God doesn't try to cover up my damage. He doesn't make me forget the pain. He doesn't make sure it never comes up in conversation again.

He makes it beautiful.
He makes it His.

He illuminates my brokenness for His glory alone, to show that even through this mess, even through these ashes, through every crack,beauty exists.